pizzafemme:

slap my ass and buy me things

zftw:

genderthief:

i gave my dog a tortilla chip ten minutes ago and she won’t fucking eat it she’s just staring at me with it in her mouth 

she’s waiting for the salsa

nickelbackthatassup:

when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”

(Source: str8boicore)

unclefather:

veganbutt:

australian-government:

john green have had enough of your shit

Can he actually tho

It’s a metaphor. You say that you’re canceling the movie and then you don’t actually cancel the movie. 

beardhairdontcare:

Three straight boys walk into a bar.
Haha and then what ;)

urbancatfitters:

you had me at “hello” and you lost me at “i think your friend is cute”

(Source: urbancatfitters)

thequeenandthephoenix:

kiichu:

shawtyimmaonlytellyouthisonce:

so i went on the american apparel site today

looking at the socks

and

image

image

image

image

image

image

for reference

here’s one of the pictures for men’s socks

image

seriously i’m not one to complain about sexism much but i just looked on this site and??

headwear

image

what

image

THE FUCK IS THIS???

image

????????

also BAGS AND WALLEtS???

male:

image

female:

image

????????????????????? I DON’T FUCKING GET IT????

"gendered marketing doesn’t exist!! shut up femenazi"

(Source: nozu)

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure

bootyisagirlsbestfriend:

"go the fuck away im not dealing w ur snake shit today"

(Source: aposan)